TheSpunker - by Ben Popken. Published by Gattaca, Inc.

True Evite Crimes, Cont.

Mr. Curtis Coltrane, MTV Fashion VJ, throws a weekly hiphop party at his own expense and sends out silly evites. We already drew and quartered week three's, which provoked a retort from Curtis and, seeing as no good deed goes unpunished, also got us on his guest list. Hot on the well-designed heels comes this week's invite, which, besides apparently learning nothing from the our consultative advice, gave TheSpunker one of these "shoutouts" - a behavior in this so-called "hip-hop" subculture whereby one individual makes vocal recognition of another individual in a public forum. To wit, "This is it, the Caddy V-16, Purple Label Sweats, the Jordan 30's, the Alexander Nash Suit............ What do we all have in common? The fliest shit on the planet. GET FRESH FRIDAYS...! You know you shit is poppin when BLOG's start talking about you. All press is good press, unless you are Paris. Nahmeans?? check it out THESPUNKER.com." Hello to " Sneaker "Caviar" Steve, Sky-crombie-MTV, Rockwilder..., Beny "The New Body" (Fuck Buffy) and Michelle "PR" Huff " who may be two-stepping their way here today. Awesome. Do my Chucks and dirty jeans count as fly kicks and threads?

Dance Chicken Dance

Spotted our dancing chicken suit flyer friend again and scored an interview. Watch here as quicktime and here as .mp4. It's spicy and mad crazy like H5N1 bird flu. Previously: Chicken Suit Schadenfreude.

Paint it Pink

Pink is the new pink, as L.A.'s new Paul Smith store beautifully illustrates. via.

From Russia with Softcore #2

A while back we reported on the Russian cellphone company that forced its highest female managers to pose nude for a calendar distributed to its VIP clients and partners. Now Euroset's calendar is here. Forget bedroom, these are boardroom eyes.

Follow Bush Religiously

Point of sale fo LA Weekly. So crazy! Vampire Bush? Yes. Thanks to Damian aka "goldendaggers" for sending this in.

Madonna in a Bottle

Sip the sweet nectar of the material girl. Or not. In which case you can suckle the salt of The Stones. Celebrity Cellars offers lines of  Madonna and Rolling Stones emblazoned wine bottles, "available filled with your choice of premium wine or UnWine® de-alcoholized red table wine." We'll leave you to decide whether the vintages are as delectable as the sweat of Mick and Madge.

Tommy Gun Vodka

Inside a glass Tommy Gun, Alphonse Capone bottlers loaded top-shelf Polish vodka. Liquor Snob found the distilled grains, "cool to the touch when you first pick it up, but smoky hot when it goes to work." Perfect for a killer New Year's party.

Kodak Assvertising

Assvertising was so great you knew it would be copied. Who knew Kodak would be the one to stoop so low? That's like butterscotch-giving-grandpa hitting on your girlfriend - and stealing her (true story). Apparently, Kodak used the derriere media placement during a photo convention in Boston Kiev, Ukraine. At least two hot women were hired to wear ridiculously short mini skirts with Kodak logoed panties underneath and then drops things on the convention floor and pick them up.  It's so off-brand one is inclined to think its an unauthorized effort by a sub promo company. If so, someone should spank them. Crass sexuality seems to be a particularly Russian obsession, like the company that forced its top female managers to pose in a nude calendar distributed to its clients.

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Hello Kitty Axe

Please add the Hello Kitty Fender guitar to my Christmas wish list. Via Boing Boing. The tweepops and ironics must be creaming their Chucks.

From Russia With Softcore

In a twist on the nude women-filled company calendar, Euroset will feature its own top female managers. Russia's biggest cellphone seller give the calendar to company partners and VIP clients as a New Years gift. PR manager, Ulyana Smolkaja (pictured), conceived the effort. Heads of financial, logistics, advertising, PR, retail and more will bare their skin.  Marketolog doesn't think they did this voluntarily although he likes the idea...  More  pix and story (in Russian) here.